Remember the time??

When Did We Forget How to Just Like Someone?

Last night, I ended up in one of those TikTok conversations that hits differently. The kind that makes you stop scrolling and actually think. And honestly, I am still thinking about it.

We were talking about puppy love. Not in the dismissive way people usually do, like it was not real or did not count. We were genuinely remembering what it felt like to just like someone. Simply. Deeply. Authentically.

Remember that feeling? When you wanted to know someone just because you wanted to know them. Not who they could become. Not the version you imagined or the role they would play in your five year plan. Just them. Their laugh. Their stories. The way they saw the world.

There was something so pure about it. No hidden agendas. No mental checklists. No potential you were trying to unlock.

They were perfectly perfect just being themselves.

And here is what has been sitting heavy with me. What happened to that?

I am not saying boundaries are not important. They are. Standards matter. Knowing what you need in a relationship is growth. But somewhere along the way, we stopped dating people and started interviewing them.

We meet someone and immediately run them through a compatibility algorithm in our heads. We are three dates in and already mapping out whether they fit into our relationship template before we even know their middle name or what makes them laugh until they cannot breathe.

We have created sky high expectations for people we barely know. Expectations built from past hurt, curated Instagram couples, and think pieces we read at two in the morning. And the wild part is we expect them to meet all of it while we are still figuring out if we even enjoy spending time with them.

It is not realistic. And I think that is why so many people are walking away from relationships hurt. Carrying trauma. Stuck in unhealthy cycles.

We are building entire futures with strangers, then wondering why everything falls apart when reality does not match the fantasy we created.

What if we slowed down?

What if we went back to enjoying the process of getting to know someone? Actually dating. Laughing together. Learning about them. Seeing if you genuinely like this person beyond what they could offer you or become for you.

Here is the part that surprised me most. This entire conversation happened mostly with men. And it was refreshing.

No defensiveness. No arguments. No one trying to win. Just people being real about something that clearly matters to all of us, regardless of gender.

We do not talk enough about how men feel this too. The exhaustion with modern dating. The nostalgia for when connection felt simpler and more genuine.

Maybe we all just miss the feeling of liking someone because we liked them.

No agenda.

No pressure.

No rush.

Just two people deciding they want to keep showing up and learning more about each other.

That used to be enough.

Maybe it still could be.